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Prepare Your Heart
When going into any conflict, it’s important to make sure your heart is in the right place. Many times you’re so fired up about the injustice you’ve experienced that your judgment can be cloudy. As a result, you might go into the conflict with the end goal to win and feel validated that you are indeed right.
If your heart is full of anger or bitterness, chances are you’ll have a hard time opening up to what the other person has to say. If you are unable to open up to the other person’s feelings, conflict resolution will be hard to achieve. Before going into any conflict, pursue a good mindset and heart condition.
It’s also important to follow Matthew 7 in regards to removing the plank from your own eye before pointing out another’s. If your desire is to address a friend or family member’s concerning issue, be sure you’ve opened up yourself to God’s work in your heart first. The Bible addresses this very clearly and it’s specifically for your best interest. You are guided to healthy conflict resolution by first examining your heart, your motives, and your own sin.
Preparing your heart means being eager to seek resolution, which means being willing to forgive. No doubt it’s hard to let go of the pain someone may have caused you; we’ve all felt the desire to hold onto our hurts as if to declare we are in the right. But to hold onto our hurt is to deny ourselves and the other person the forgiveness that allows someone to move on. Holding onto it won’t help you; it will only hurt you.
Seek God in prayer, let the baggage fall in worship, and let Him work in your heart first.
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.
Matthew 7:3-5 KJV
Click the link to read today’s abide blog entry. I am sure it will bless you greatly…https://blog.abide.is/6-ways-to-discover-gods-purpose-in-your-life/
craiggroeschel: New #leadership podcast is out today on Embracing Change. https://t.co/V3u2YD5gQV
Please join me as I walk through this 7 day plan on navigating conflict and how it can actually be a good thing…
When Conflict Got a New Definition
I sat on one end of the couch and he sat on the other, in the kind of silence that can be cut with a knife. My arms were crossed and he stared forward at the blank television screen. Inwardly I was bursting to get my feelings out on the table but outwardly I was stone cold like the guards outside Buckingham Palace. Soon he grabbed the remote to turn on a movie and eventually we moved past the silent fight we were warring over.
I learned pretty early on in dating that conflict was inevitable. At first, I didn’t deal with it well because I had never been taught that it could be done in a healthy way. My version of handling a conflict came from either walking on eggshells around my dad, shutting down with my mom, or exploding in arguments with my brothers.
Much of it had to do with the anger I was in bondage to for the first 18 years of my life. I suppose after being miraculously delivered from it at the altar one night at youth retreat I was too afraid to show even an ounce of it in fear it would return, so my only go-to was avoiding any conflict altogether.
It was after I started dating someone I listened to a podcast on conflict in relationships. It was as if my eyes were finally open to a healthy way of dealing with conflict. And not just in romantic relationships, but any relationship really: friendships, family, co-workers.
Learning how to deal with conflict properly will significantly change the health and length of any relationship. Speaking from personal experience I promise you this is something you will want to embrace and an area you will want to grow in!
Over the next seven days, we’ll explore six important steps in navigating conflict and my prayer is that they will help guide you in conflict with anyone, whether romantic, friendly, or professionally.
Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
Colossians 3 KJV